A clearer mind- 18 miles later

Yesterday morning I woke up before 5:00 and went on an 18 mile run. It was the best run I’ve had in a while, easier than my short 4-6 milers have been, and it was the prelude to the best day I’ve had in a while.

Since being laid off of work, I’ve been trying to find solutions to my lack of income while prioritizing my music career and my general emotional needs. I’ve literally been brainstorming for 2 weeks. Yesterday morning was the first time in a while I was able to put some of these thoughts to rest, even if just temporarily, while I ran along the beach watching the sunrise. Later on in the day I printed out resume’ stuff, cover letters, etc., and happily made some prospective employment runs, but taking the time I needed for myself, for my body, was a vital part of me accomplishing anything yesterday, and really woke me up to a message my body has been trying to send to me: I need time alone with you.

The last few months have consisted of me moving across the country, moving in with my boyfriend (first live-in boyfriend!), getting laid off, my dad getting married, lots of travel, and lots of beginnings to new and very ambitious career projects. Exercise has become another thing to pile on top of the list of things to get done in a day lately. Although I feel relief and satisfaction after going to a Spin class or going on a run, it seems I had temporarily lost the ability to spend time alone with myself without anticipating the next curve ball heading my way. A result of this has been me not really being the best person I can be.

My run yesterday took me about 3 hours. That’s a good chunk of time to dedicate to yourself.

But not really.

I’m in a situation where I don’t have a husband or children and am able to get up at 4:45 in the morning and run for 3 hours, and I look forward to seeing how I will handle taking care of my body and mind when I do have more on my plate, but the important thing to remember is that it is a piece of my personal maintenance. I had 3 hours to breathe in sea air. 3 hours to sort through ideas. 3 hours to be creative. 3 hours to listen to every message from my body, from my toenails to my knees, my hips, my abs, my arms, my breath. When was the last time you listened to your own breath for longer than a half a minute?

The investment of yesterday’s 3 hours was what made me a better person for the remaining 21 hours. I was a better girlfriend, a better stranger, a better candidate for my hopefully new part time job at lululemon. I loved myself more. I was present with what was going on around me while at the same time, still listening to my body and bonding with myself over what an accomplishment running 18 miles was.

This quote was on the Lululemon website:

“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself” and I’ve been thinking about it all day.

I think it’s absolutely a true quote. I also believe that the way you treat your body directly effects your outlook on life. Taking true and meaningful time to invest in your own health and well being will drastically effect reactions to stress, conflict, emergencies, relationships, and everything else you face in a day. In the end, you are the only person responsible for you. It is no one else’s job to listen to your body. If you don’t do it, then it won’t be heard. If it isn’t heard, chances are, you won’t feel heard either.

It doesn’t have to be 3 hours. But it does need to be a constant and consistent investment in time.

Anyway- the run went well. I’m looking forward to the Pasadena Marathon on November 16th. I’m going to add a little bit of speed back into my runs this week to have a decent time for the Skirt Chaser 5k next month. I’d like to run it in 22 minutes or less. Not a PR, but I don’t want to aim too high for my first 5k in a year.

Also, musicwise- I booked another show. Finally things feel like their kind of picking up out here.